A Dozen Years (Part 2/2)

Psalms 34:3 "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together."

Jason and I planned to marry in February. I wanted a small wedding; nothing fancy and as few people as possible. I dreaded the thought of having people staring at me. I never did like attention. Jason's parents had welcomed me into their home so lovingly to Sunday family meals and every other family event that I asked if we could be married in their home by the fireplace. It sounded so cozy and sweet. They agreed. As far as I was concerned, the simpler the better and the less expensive, the better. Just a few details remained to arrange.

Jason's mom would make the cake- cheesecake! The rings were purchased. The marriage license was obtained. Now I needed a dress. Jason and I planned to live in an apartment belonging to a family in the church, the Decker's. They had split off a portion of their home for such a use and would charge very little rent to help us out. I started to live there and help the family out with remodeling projects. Mrs Decker took me under wing. She said I could have her wedding dress because she had no daughter to give it to, but had two sons. I bought a pair of shoes that matched nicely, but always wanted to be married barefoot and hoped I might be able to.

Jason and I had not planned a day yet. We both worked full time and had not acquired vacation time. We wanted a Friday evening wedding and then have the weekend together before going back to work Monday. Valentine's Day was a Friday, so we planned to be married then. 

Now all that was left was trying to get my parents to attend.

My parents had just moved in with my grandmother after things didn't work out for them in South Carolina. Their marriage was hanging on by a thread and they were searching for solutions. They wouldn't come to church with me and I knew they were very close to calling it quits. On top of this, they didn't want me to marry Jason and I wasn't too sure what I should do concerning them. Jason and I had plans and I supposed I would go ahead with those plans and whether or not they wanted to be there was totally up to them. Valentine's Day was approaching and they were still no closer to attending, so I asked if we could put it off another week. The Decker's were going to be out of town, so we put it off another week as we wanted them in attendance. 

When Friday, February 28 rolled around. Jason and I went to work as usual. Everything was ready for that evening and I was to be at Jason's parents house at 6:30. Friday at my job wasn't much different than normal. I worked on a team with five other people helping disabled children. We were in charge of aiding them in a classroom setting. While my coworkers and I were in the classroom with our assigned children, my friend Jessica who was single, asked what I was doing this weekend. "I'm going to marry Jason this evening. I'll need to go home right after work to get ready." I added that because there were some Fridays we went out to dinner after work. She had heard me say that two Fridays ago when I had planned to get married on the 14th, so she smiled and answered, "so is this the big day then?" She knew the issue with my parents and added, "What would you do if you and Jason got divorced?" I didn't believe in divorce and told her so, that it's not what God wants for a married couple. The answer didn't satisfy her. Her parents were divorced and many couples she knew were divorced. "But what if you did? Then what would you do?" ...I wish now I'd kept in touch with her to be proof to her that marriage can work and doesn't have to end in divorce.

I left work and headed straight home. I got showered, dressed, did my makeup and my hair. My hair took a bit longer than I really had time for. Jason had sent a friend to come pick me up and be our chauffeur after the wedding. Though we were running late, I knew I had to go see my parents before getting married to give them one last chance so I asked him to take me there. We drove to my grandparents house, and I asked my parents if they would come to my wedding. They again said no, but I left knowing I had at least given them the opportunity.

I arrived at the house to find a nicely decorated table with gifts, cheesecake, and drinks. Jason's parents, three older sisters and their families and the Decker's were there. My half brother, Robert, came. He and Jason had gotten to be friends, and Robert had been coming to church regularly and gotten saved. 

Without delay because of my late arrival and dinner reservations awaiting us, we started the ceremony. I entered the room, barefooted, when the wedding song played in the CD player. Jason looked so handsome in his tux. His cheeks were very rosy. I hadn't spoken to him all day, but it had been a cold day and he worked outdoors doing construction, so I gathered his crimson visage was from the frigid weather. The fireplace was lit and crackling warmly beside us. Jason's dad started to speak. We did a candle lighting ceremony, exchanged rings and were soon pronounced man and wife. After the kiss, we faced the small group gathered together to witness our marriage and left to the table where the cake was as the wedding song played once again. The family followed us down to congratulate us. We cut and ate the cake, opened presents and soon had to leave to make our dinner reservations in Lenox, the next town over. Our chauffeur drove us there, and Jason's truck would be our transport after dinner which was already parked at the restaurant. We spent the weekend in Lenox, and Sunday morning, arrived at church in our wedding attire before Jason had to return the tux the next day. 

Our wedding was simple, but wouldn't have traded it for anything. 

Jason's sister, Erin, presented us with a wedding scrapbook she had made. In it she wrote Psalm 34:3, "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together." Twelve years later, we are now on deputation to go to the mission field. We have three beautiful children the Lord has blessed us with and all of them are saved. Jason tells me he prayed for his wife all throughout his childhood and teen years. I believe it's because of those prayers that I was spared from making bad choices. No one else in my family goes to church, or is following the Lord. My parents did end up divorcing. Even though at the time I moved to Lee I hadn't been in church myself, I went that Sunday in August. I am so thankful for the prayers of my husband. Let me encourage you to be praying for your spouse while you are young and your children's spouse even if they have not yet reached school age.

A year after we met, in August 2003, we took a trip to Niagara Falls for our overdue honeymoon getaway. While there, we purchased a wooden sign that read: "Grow old with me. The best is yet to be." It has hung in every place we've lived, including the dashboard of our car during some of our deputation. 

This 12 year anniversary, we will be staying in a one room prophets chamber surrounded by our three children.

...I wouldn't trade it for anything. 

A Dozen Years (Part 1/2)

Psalms 34:3 "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt his name together."

     A dozen years ago on February 28, 2003, I married Jason Mann. I haven't told many people the full story of our meeting and marriage when asked and have simply given just the main points briefly, but thought I'd share now for those who wish to hear. 

     I moved to Lee, MA with my grandparents when I was 19. My parents and I had moved to South Carolina and after a month of searching for affordable health insurance that would cover my diabetes with no results, I went back north to the state I had grown up in where I knew I would be able to be insured. My grandparents were faithful members of the Episcopalian church in town, so I set out to find my own church. I had been to church off and on all throughout my teenage years, but for some reason, finding my own church was important to me even though my previous attendance had been so sporadic. My family had often passed a Baptist church in Lee on our way to visit my grandparents, so the first Sunday of August after I moved in town, I went to Berkshire Hills Baptist Church. I was greeted cordially by the pastor and members and resolved to go back the following Sunday. That was August 11, 2002. The pastor's wife sat in front of me and I was in the back row. When service concluded, she turned to me and said, "I wasn't sure if you'd come back to church since there isn't any one your age here." I hadn't really thought of it. I only knew my first impression of the church was a good one, so I replied almost absently, "Oh really? There's no one?" 

     "Well," she replied, "there is my son. He's 22." At that moment, a red haired young man sat down next to me and introduced himself as Jason, the pastor's son. I hadn't recalled seeing him my first Sunday and found out later he had not been present then. Outside the church, we talked by my car for a while before parting ways.  I didn't give him my number, but he called me the next day. I had almost forgotten I had filled out a visitor card my first day at church.

     I was working the checkout lane at the local grocery store, and Jason came to my lane that week to purchase a single peach. Two weeks after we met, we went on our first date to Friendly's and bowling. Another time when I was at work, he came to my line and handed me a small tissue wrapped package. I started to unwrap it, and unwrap it some more, and then some more, finding nothing in its folds. I concluded he was playing a trick on me and gave it a quick fling to prove it was empty. At that moment, something hit the grocery packing table. I picked up the three pieces of a now broken glass rose! Oh, it was pretty, even in it's broken state. I kept the pieces of course, and nonetheless, Jason still asked me out on other dates. 

     My grandmother wanted me to go the the community college, so I enrolled in the nursing degree. I started school on a Tuesday and quit Thursday, knowing it was not what I wanted to do with my life. There was nothing in me that wanted to pursue that direction. I got a job as a teachers aide at a school for disabled children instead. Jason started working construction, helping build homes.

     Living in the Berkshires, we were surrounded by woods and hiking trails. On one of our dates, Jason and I took such a trail and nearly got lost in the woods. We were out of bottled water and Jason was getting very dehydrated and weary. It was during this moment, he told me his burden to serve God in any capacity He would have him serve and he wanted me to serve by his side. I hadn't been in church as long as he and really didn't have a clue what he was talking about, but I happily agreed and put all my effort in getting him out of the woods and back to strength as I was afraid he would pass out at any moment. Needless to say, we both lived to tell.    

     We were engaged by December. I had just climbed into bed one snowy night and heard a bang on my second-floor window. I peered out to see Jason standing down below in my grandparents driveway, forming a second snowball to throw to get my attention. When he saw me at the window, he beckoned me to come outside. I protested at first as I was in my pajamas, but at last I went downstairs and met him outside. We got into my car out of the cold, and there he produced a ring and asked if I would marry him. I didn't need to think about it for a moment!

     Jason's dad wanted us to go through premarital counseling with him and we met in his office. He asked us both questions, I think mainly to know where I was coming from as he already knew where his son was coming from. He asked if either of us had been engaged before. Jason said no, but I had to tell about my high school sweetheart. My junior and senior year of high school, I went to a Christian boarding school in New Hampshire. I didn't board as I lived close enough to commute. We had met my second year there. He was my age, but was a grade younger as health in his early years kept him from going into school when he ought to have. He lived in Chicago but boarded at the school. My parents absolutely loved him and even let me spend time with him on summer break at his parents house. He was the only boy they had ever approved of for me. Pressure kept me with him and engaged to him, but in my heart I knew he wasn't for me. I hadn't ever even officially broken it off with him at this time. 

     Another question Jason's dad asked was if I had ever been baptized. I had gone through the ritual of getting "baptized" as a baby, but knew that wasn't what he meant. I had been saved when a teenager, but not baptized. No one had explained that it followed salvation, so my future father-in-law baptized me the next Sunday. 

(To be continued...)